Commit it to memory, bitches.

Axel is 22, roaming aimlessly until he can find what he's here to do. He tends to come in two speeds: high strung or lethargic. There are few exceptions. He is a Business Management major, pushed into the field by his boss, a co-owner of a well-known local restaurant. He would rather be head chef, though. He has two true passions. Cooking, and raves.

Axel sports some large scars, but he isn't ashamed of his rough past. He believes he has learned from his mistakes, but he admits that there are more to be made before he is considered "wise."
Home /Ask/ Submit/Little Blue Jerk/ Archive
rosydrops:

Cleaning
clean bathroom tips
organize your closet
how to fix a leaky faucet
how to keep a clean kitchen
removing stains from your carpet
Money
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
a list of stress relievers
how to get free therapy

how to remove a splinter


how to avoid a hangover

Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Food
no-more-ramen: easy, quick, simple recipes
recipes that take 30 minutes or less
Yummy apple thing
Brownie in a cup
Cookie in a cup
French bread pizza
Egg tacos
panera mac n cheese recipe
different salad recipes
harry potter recipes
healthy recipes
various cookie recipes
chocolate cupcakes w/ eggless cookie dough topping
s’mores pie 
nutella hot chocolate
peanut butter nutella swirl cookies
cookie in a mug
starbucks holiday drinks
fruit leathers 
brownie in a mug
how to make ramen 1000x better
eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
make recipes using things you already have
how to put together a very fancy cheese plate 
make different flavored lemonades
various desert recipes
make tiny chocolate chip cookies
20 dishes every cook should know
learn how to make your own tea
Macaroni and cheese in a mug
Study snacks (2)
40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants 
Getting an apartment
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap 
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking

how to get a book published


how to knit


how to use a polaroid camera


how to solve a rubik’s cube


how to stop biting your nails


how to stop procrastinating


how to stop skipping breakfast


how to stop micromanaging


how to stop avoiding asking for help


how to stop swearing constantly


how to stop being a pushover

learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
learn how to do yoga
100 tips for life
learn how to make your own cards

the-vanitas-intensifies:

Every time I hear someone say “Shut up!” In a Kingdom hearts game I like to try and imagine what they would say if it wasn’t a Disney game

Braig: So who wants to go first?

Ven: GO FUCK YOURSELF


Xigbar: Why do you always have to look at me like I just drowned your goldfish?

Xion: EAT SHIT

rnikechampa:

preppylife1:

'MERICA

how do I keep counting 50 states when Illinois isn’t even listed

south dakota is listed twice.

I’m in a “bad fanfiction” situation.

My TA, whom I am RIDICULOUSLY attracted to, just asked me out to have drinks. My TA of all the people in the world. What the fuck is happening right now. College AU, anyone?

And to add to the stereotypical bad fanfiction drama, I have a fiancee. Neither woman knows about the existence of the other. 

I think I’m the villain in this story. I honestly don’t know how this happened.

Yuri college AU. Chapters: 1/??. Hurt/confusion/Romance. Rating: my life is fucked.

pulsingcheckeredlights:

[text] Aaaaw I probably shouldn’t even bring over the Notebook as a joke then, huh?  I might wrestle another rom com into the mix so we can stop paying attention and just have some fun.  And Axel! *gay gasp*  You tease me so!  I’ll bring over extra lube because you’re probably as tight now as your virgin ass was before.

Love you, too, dork.  I’ll see you after closing. [/text]

[text]I wouldn’t suggest bringing the Notebook, no. Not unless you wanna spend the night with your best friend (ie your right hand) sleeping on my couch and listening to me fuck MYSELF through the wall. Also, not gonna lie, that last little bit has my southern buddy at attention. The memories, Rox… they alone are enough to get me hard. Hurry up and get outta work, or I might have to take matters into my own hands. Pun intended.[/text]

pulsingcheckeredlights:

[text]Whaaaat??  We can’t have the beers /and/ the cuffs?  I was going to try and make a joke about you being a sub while we were having subs, but now I can’t since we don’t have that prop *sniffles* JK.  I’ll return the favor if you want c;  Just don’t scrub so hard that I’m as red as your hair lol. Do you want me to bring over a certain movie?  For the love of god don’t mention another porn video hahaha[/text]

[text]Of course we can have both, goober. I was just teasing. And who knows, maybe I WILL let you pound me into the mattress. I’m feeling fairly experimental tonight. ;) No preference on movie choice, but I swear to every single thing we both hold dear in this world, if you bring over some floppy-dicked two star box office whiner of a sob story - and by that I mean ANYTHING NICHOLAS SPARKS - I will withhold BOTH MY DICK AND MY ASSHOLE until your balls actually drop, got it?

Love you~[/text]

pulsingcheckeredlights:

fire-crotch:

[text]Mmm… midnight rendezvous sounds scandalous. I like it. You bring the subs, I’ll supply the wrist/ankle cuffs (and by that I DEFINITELY mean the beers). And don’t you worry one little golden hair on that head, kiddo. I’ll scrub you down REAL nice-like, got it memorized? ;) [/text]

[text]Whaaaat??  We can’t have the beers /and/ the cuffs?  I was going to try and make a joke about you being a sub while we were having subs, but now I can’t since we don’t have that prop *sniffles* JK.  I’ll return the favor if you want c;  Just don’t scrub so hard that I’m as red as your hair lol. Do you want me to bring over a certain movie?  For the love of god don’t mention another porn video hahaha[/text]

holy shit it’s 1:30 in the morning.

uh… *nervous laughter* I have 5 pgs minimum to write before 2 pm, so… goodnight!! ^^;;

omhea:

twins finding old shirts in the back of their closet from middle school